My Grandma Erickson

Grandma Lois Erickson passed away this early morning, peacefully in the hospital, at age 91. She used to send a letter every Christmas to all of the family members and I decided to read through some of those again. She bears such a powerful testimony in each one; here are a few:

2007
I want each of you to know that I have a strong testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ. He is our Savior and Redeemer. I know He lives, as does our Heavenly Father. I am grateful for the Atoning sacrifice that Christ made for us. I know that Joseph Smith restored the gospel of Jesus Christ with help from the Lord, and that President Gordon B. Hinckley is our living prophet today.
2008
My life has been full of exciting moments and wonderful memories, and the best part of all is our Family. "We" [as in Grandpa Erickson and herself] love each one of you unconditionally, and I constantly pray that your lives are happy and meaningful. May you raise your families to love and serve each other as the Savior taught. I know that God lives, Jesus Christ lived, died, and was resurrected that we might live again. His atoning sacrifice was made for you and me, and He wants us to be "as He is". I'm grateful that our ancestors accepted the gospel, and knew Joseph Smith who restored the gospel, of Jesus Christ, and translated the divine Book of Mormon with divine assistance. My testimony is very precious to me. I love each and every one of you!
2010
Most important to us [she says "us" to include Grandpa Erickson, who passed away a while ago] IS our FAMILY! [Don't you love the caps? ;)] You are our Most Valued Treasure! Please follow President Monson, our prophet, and his admonitions to live good lives at all times, trust in the Lord, pray often together, watch your children constantly, keep them close, avoid all evil temptations, keep your homes sacred, go often and honor your Temple. WE LOVE YOU DEARLY AND LOOK FORWARD TO ETERNAL LIFE WITH EACH ONE OF YOU!

Haha, I just love the capitalized letters! 

She always LOVED music. I can't even tell you how much! Almost as soon as she moved into her retirement home, she started a choir. And even when she couldn't stand and had to sit the whole time, she continued to conduct it. She is one whom you would say had a passion for music. Her aunt was Naomi Randall, whom LDS people know as the lyricist for "I Am a Child of God" and other hymns. In one of Grandma's letters she wrote:
"In the 1985 LDS Hymnal, page #128 is 'When Faith Endures' by Aunt Naomi W. Randall. This hymn is a favorite of mine, and has seen me through some difficult times. It is constantly on my mind:
'I will not doubt, I will not fear: 
God's love and strength are always near,
His promised gift helps me to find 
An inner strength and peace of mind.
I give the Father willingly 
My trust, my prayers, humility;
His Spirit guides, His love assures 
That fear departs when faith endures.'"

Grandma says that there were other verses that Naomi wrote that were not published, but that the First Presidency accepted a second verse and it was sung at Naomi Randall's funeral. Here is most of it (I'm not putting all of it because it's under copyright):
"When trials come as come they will 
I'll try the more to do His will,
I'll pray for strength and courage strong 
And strive at length to right the wrong.
I'll cling to hope, give charity, 
Reach out to those in need of me.
...
Grandma said, "This hymn is very dear to me, and I sing it often to myself. It has helped me through many trials and challenges".

Grandma Erickson has had multiple falls. I think that she was such an independent woman that she didn't see why her body couldn't keep up with her mind and heart! This last fall brought her to the hospital. It seemed like she knew that she would be going soon. She told her children that her last goal was to get to rehab and she reached that goal yesterday, the day before she died.

Many people, if they knew it was their time to go, would give up. They would think, "I'm leaving this world, so why does it matter?" But not Grandma Erickson. She was a woman of determination. And she lived a full life to the last breath.

Even when Grandma was not doing well, she came to Adaline's baby blessing! It was a shock to see her there and I knew she did it completely out of love. She said that she had to come for her fellow red-head. (Grandma was a carrot-top and Addie has reddish hair.) She was a remarkable woman, full of love and determination. We will miss her!

To All First-Time Mothers

It's hard. The end.

Haha--sorry, that wasn't very compassionate! With all of the information that is available about how much your baby should be eating, sleeping, pooping, etc., it's no wonder we rarely bother to read about ourselves. We skip over the post-partum depression checklist, we breeze through the post-pregnancy marital relations articles,  and every other mother we see seems to reflect a picture-perfect scenario, while I'm still struggling to take a shower by noon.

And when anyone asks how I like motherhood, I always give a "It's wonderful!" Because I know that it is and that it should be, even if I don't feel it 24/7--haha.

I'm going to share some of my "shocks", some of my tips, and I encourage all of you to create a blog post for other mothers. I am blessed to not be struggling being a first-time mom, but I believe that most new mothers struggle.

After you've created your post, I would love it if you pasted a link to your helpful post in the comments below.

Shocks

1. It's full-time work.

Now, this is an obvious. But seriously! Once I had Adaline, I think that was one thing that really hit home: there is no break. It's constant. And that can be a little overwhelming, especially if you like your freedom. And not "freedom" necessarily, but just not being able to do as many "normal" daily tasks as you used to do.

2. It's a constant guessing game. 

I thought it would be textbook figuring out how much Adaline should eat, when she should sleep, and what's wrong when she cries. I mean, there's so much information out there, it should be easy, right? (And it seemed so easy when I was watching other people's kids. ;) So, we play the guessing game until we get it all figured out and she's in a routine, and then--it changes. And you have to start all over again. ;)

3. Overflowing love is not 24/7.

I waited so long for Adaline, I thought I would be in a constant state of overwhelming love for her 24/7. Haha, yes, you can laugh! But hey--this was true for the first few months! I was seriously never angry and rarely frustrated (except at myself) for probably the first four months.

4. Anger and Anxiety.

I don't know if I've experience anxiety before. But I'm really glad that I'm able to recognize it. I don't know what happened once Addie turned 5 or 6 months, but it was like I had no patience anymore--haha. I think I assumed that because she was older, she wouldn't cry as much, and it would be easier to know what she's crying about. This is entirely not true. (At least for my child.) 

What I've done to overcome this is pure mental effort. And it takes practice. First, I recognize my emotions, then I mentally calm myself (not to the point where I'm dead to the world, that's different and not good) and at the same time, I humble myself. It's like pushing down a brick wall with your bare hands. I call upon Heavenly Father and I make sure I'm prepared to receive any inspiration He will give me. I'm willing to think about how to help Addie without getting overwhelmed or angry. I'm able to respond in a way that is positive. And I'm still learning. 

Tips

1. GET OUTSIDE.

Mothers, you must take a step outside at least once everyday and that does not include walking to the car in order to get inside and drive somewhere. Even if it's a blizzard--put on a coat, wrap your baby up, and stand outside for 5 minutes. Just get outside!

2. EXERCISE.

I know this word can create a bad taste in some people's mouths, but exercise doesn't have to be this really hard thing. It can just be going outside for a stroll. It can be dancing with your child around the house. There are not many stairs to get to my apartment, but I run up them anyway whenever I come home. ;) Little things like that will help you to keep up some energy. 

If you seriously need exercise, though, try to find what motivates you. Most of the time the best thing is a work-out buddy. Get one of these ASAP if you really need to exercise more. Or if you're not too prideful, have your husband hold you accountable. ;) Be honest with yourself when figuring out what works.

3. EAT HEALTHY.

Hey--if you're not eating healthy, you're not going to have the energy you need to be patient, loving, informed, happy, etc. The first lesson I learned about eating while having a baby is 1) take the time and 2) when you have the time, don't multi-task! If you multi-task, you won't finish eating before something happens. So, when it's time to eat, just sit there and eat.

4. One thing at a time.

Everyday I plan to get one thing done. Dishes. Laundry. Bathroom. And if I don't get it done, I don't hate myself. I just tell myself what my priorities are, and sometimes dishes just doesn't quite make it as a priority that day. Remember--your priorities are the baby and your husband, and when there's a newborn, sometimes those two priorities get flip-flopped back and forth. And remember--you can try tomorrow. (And if you don't get them done the next day, ask your husband for help and don't feel like a failure.) 

Oh, and even after 7 months, my goal is still to get Addie and myself ready by lunchtime. I'm hoping this will help some of you out there feel better about yourselves. ;)

5. BE WITH OTHER WOMEN

Never underestimate what this can do for you. If your church congregation/ward does not have a mother's group, think about starting one. Find someone who will help so you don't have to plan everything on your own. Spend time with other women!!

6. Take time for God.

Addie and I read scriptures together everyday. Even at 7 months, she loves to read books with pictures, but doesn't care much for the scriptures--haha. I read them in my most exciting and adventurous voice possible, and sometimes it works. Sometimes we get through a couple verses, and sometimes it's a chapter. If I don't get my personal scripture study done for the day, I feel that at least I've read something--and it was with Addie.

P.S. Short prayers count.

Tip before you have the baby

1. Start healthy habits, including going to mother's groups, before the baby comes. For the first few months, you might not feel like you need to socialize--or that you need many of the tips above--but later, you will definitely need them!!

Some other stuff

I love this scripture:

"He shall feed his flock like a shepherd: he shall gather the lambs with his arm, and carry them in his bosom, and shall gently lead those that are with young" (Isaiah 40:11).

I have a document of scriptures and quotes that are really helpful during hard times. Click here to access it. Post these around the house to help you!

Most new mothers struggle. A lot. And even after the first baby, mothers struggle! But if you try to handle it by yourself, you're not going to make it. (Or if you do, will you still have your sanity? ;) I beg  you to listen to what your body, mind and emotions tell you, then find ways to overcome any difficulties that arise. Stay open with your husband, but you can't depend entirely on him. You have to depend on yourself, your husband, your family, and the support group of other mothers and people in your community and church. 

And, people! If you notice someone post a status on facebook that obviously sounds like they're struggling, don't just make a comment that says "I'm sorry, I'll pray for you." People! Give them a call or a visit. Seriously.

Follow my tips and make your own! Put them on your blog, and paste the link to it in my comments. :)