Missing piece

Sometimes I get overwhelmed with all the things to do for adoption. We have two online profiles, a blog and a facebook group to keep updated, as well as paperwork through the state and adoption agency. It’s constantly on my mind—everyday I’m thinking of things to do and things I haven’t done yet to improve and accelerate the process. Adoption is such a personal thing for John and I. Sometimes I feel like we’re the only ones doing anything to help it happen.

Then I’m reminded.

And I’m chastised for thinking such a thing! I’m reminded of all my friends and family who think about it perhaps just as often, and who are perhaps doing just as much as John and I are to get the word out.

(This is John's family)

(This is most of my family (we need a new pic!))

And then I get overwhelmed in a different way—Overwhelmed with such gratitude and love for these wonderful people in my life who care about us. It’s amazing! Late last night John and I were chatting with some friends and one of them mentioned that she showed her mom our blog and facebook group, etc. and how excited she is for us to adopt. I have realized that this adoption process is not just about John and me. And it’s not going to happen only through our efforts. It will be a combination of dear friends and family and their dearest friends and families—all linking together to find that one very special person who is yet to be a part of our lives. That very special person is a birth mother.

So, my family is really into jigsaw puzzles. (I’ll get back to adoption in a sec. Don’t worry, it will all tie together. ;) In my parent’s family room, we always have a puzzle going on the coffee table and while watching movies, there’s always a couple people working on one. I must admit, my family is pretty good with puzzles. J John bought me a 1500-piece puzzle for Christmas and I finally started it about a couple months ago. I JUST finished it two days ago. My sister who is on a mission for the LDS church right now, and who is the Puzzle Queen of the family, would be highly ashamed that it took me so long.

But it was really hard to do! First, it was bigger than my 1000-piece puzzle board, so it took me a while to finally just tape two matte boards together (carefully to not mess anything up). Second, 88% of the puzzle is some shade of BROWN. Re-read that sentence. Yes, BROWN. Now, contemplate that for a moment. Let that sink into your soul—the arduous burden of such a task. Now you know how I felt. (Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating a little. ;)

Poor John was without his ottoman for over 2 months! Whenever we had company, we had to both carefully carry the puzzle into a different room. What a pain!

When I got to a certain point, I told myself that I had to do at least three pieces before I went to bed every night. This was not enough. Finally, I organized the last 50 pieces I had left into five shape categories and lined them all up. I would look at an empty area, see what shape might fit, and look through and try each shape until I found a match. This really expedited the process and I’m so proud of myself that I finished! Here it is:

However, the unthinkable happened. Look closely at this picture. If you’re a puzzle-doer, you will know that the worst thing that can happen is to be missing a piece. And it’s really embarrassing if you’re already missing one the first time you put the puzzle together. That’s me. Yes, I’m embarrassed. Look right smack in the middle of the puzzle—one very obvious piece is just nowhere to be found. It really sticks out, doesn't it?

Now, back to adoption. They say that it takes a community to raise a child. You could probably say that sometimes, it takes a community to find one. J And that’s what this puzzle is—it is hundreds of people linking together to find this missing piece in our lives—and who knows if the actual number of people it will take is 1499! This missing piece, however, is not a child. It is a birth mother. She is one of the most important pieces on the whole board. The puzzle as a whole is my family—John and I, with or without children. It is a picture of us, and each of you is a part of us. (Okay, so it's actually a picture of Merlin with King Arthur, but you know what I mean.)

Some people may think it strange to have the birth mother of your child as part of this puzzle, but to me it would be incomplete without her. I have heard many mothers describe their relationship to the birth mother of their child as an in-law, or sister. I think it will be the same for me. She will be a part of my family, and she will be someone to whom I owe nothing (just like a normal family), but to whom I will share so much love and gratitude. I know that when adoption happens for us, I will not even be able to describe that love and gratitude.

“Therefore, dearly beloved brethren, let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for His arm to be revealed” (D&C 123:17).

“The Lord does notice us, and He watches over us. But it is usually through another person that He meets our needs. Therefore, it is vital that we serve each other” (Pres. Spencer W. Kimball).

So, thank you. Thank you, my wonderful family and dear friends who have already done so much for us and thank you for keeping us in your prayers and fasts. We love you!

It's a pretty cool puzzle, isn't it? And, yes, I'm very proud of it. ;)